


(fear of) flying

by hngjng



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: ???maybe, Fear of Flying, Fluff, hongjoong is afraid of flying, it's cute but they just hold hands, seonghwa tries to help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23289589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hngjng/pseuds/hngjng
Summary: “Well… what makes you anxious? What are you afraid of?”“Of dying. We get in and the plane explodes, falls into the ocean, something like that, I don’t really know.”
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	(fear of) flying

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ff in this fandom!  
> i wrote this super quick and didn't proof read, sorry for any mistakes but i was dying to write something and post and get it over with. it's just a short cute thing. english is not my first language, pls bear that in mind!

Seonghwa and Hongjoong always sat together in flights. It had never been a matter for debate, really, but somehow the others always ended up scrambled up and their pairs mixed except for Seonghwa and Hongjoong, which led everyone to believe they actually asked to sit together in flights, but no one ever questioned them.

Although it was a secret that everyone knew about, it was because of a secret that no one knew about. Hongjoong was afraid of flying. It made him scared and nervous, the negative thoughts overflowing in his brain, the certainty that they would not make it out of the plane alive. His brain came up with the headlines for the accident “Members of K-Pop Group ‘Ateez’ Die After Plane Crash” and if they were lucky enough, he thought, the plane would simply fall into the ocean and not kill anyone else in the process. He imagined the FanCafe full of letters of fans hurting. He imagined the pain he’d feel as the plane burst into flames.

Hongjoong was usually good at hiding his anxiety. Being the leader, he put so much effort into seeming strong and level headed at all times. He couldn’t be the one to leave the others anxious. But one day he slipped.

The previous day had been rough, tiring, they had practiced so much and everyone felt their bodies sore and heavy. On top of that, Hongjoong hadn’t been able to sleep well for many reasons - worried about their debut, ruminating over a particularly harsh critic he had gotten from Eden on something he was coming up with, the whole feeling of inadequacy. So in the morning, when they were supposed to take the plane, he was basically a zombie.

Seognhwa had noticed the dark circles around his eyes, how Hongjoong seemed unable to focus on anything, how he asked “what?” every time someone asked him a question no matter how simple it was, and he was also fidgeting a lot, looking through his phone, tapping things with his fingers, tapping his feet.

“What’s wrong?” Seonghwa sat beside him in the waiting area to ask, placing a hand on his knee so he’d stop bouncing his leg frantically.

Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa with big eyes, he seemed startled. Hongjoong swallowed. “What?”

“Why are you nervous?”

“Is it that obvious?” Hongjoong replies with a shy smile at the corner of his mouth, but he doesn’t look at Seonghwa.

“You’re either nervous or you drank seven cups of coffee before we got here,” Seonghwa said in a thoughtful tone, looking up and theatrically placing a hand under his chin. “But we only got one coffee each from what I recall.”

Hongjoong sighed and looked at Seonghwa. He started bouncing his leg again, and Seonghwa decided to not stop him this time. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Of course.”

“But I mean it, I don’t want anyone else finding out.”

“I can keep a secret, Hongjoong.”

“Not even staff.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes. “Hongjoong…”

“I’m serious…” Hongjoong said in a small voice, looking down.

“I promise,” Seonghwa replied, firm. Because Hongjoong was really nervous and needed that reassurance.

“I’m afraid of flying.” His shoulders dropped as he said that, and he scratched his head, in a gesture Seonghwa recognized as embarrassment.

“Oh…” Seonghwa couldn’t say he was surprised. A little shocked, but thinking about previous situations, some things started to make sense. “Is today worse or the same as other times?”

“It’s worse.”

“Well… what makes you anxious? What are you afraid of?”

“Of dying. We get in and the plane explodes, falls into the ocean, something like that, I don’t really know,” Hongjoong was agitated, he ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a deep sigh. Seonghwa thought he seemed to be shaking, but since he wouldn’t stay still for a second it was hard to tell for sure.

“That’s very unlikely-”

“I know, Seonghwa.” He was blunt. Of course he knew.

“Sorry…” Seonghwa didn’t know what he could say to help, and he wasn’t sure if there was anything that could really help with a fear that, to a certain extent, wasn’t rational. “We’re sitting together, right? Is there something I can do to help?”

“I don’t know.”

“We’ll figure something out.” Seonghwa awkwardly put a hand on his knee, trying to sound reassuring.

__

As the plane took off, Seonghwa shared some of his favorite ASMR audios with Hongjoong, and it helped. In the next flight, Seonghwa tried talking a lot, so much that Hongjoong wouldn’t have space left in his brain to think. He shared many stories from his childhood, embarrassing things, TMIs. In the next flight, they weren’t sitting together, and although it wasn’t as bad as the day when Hongjoong confessed his fear, Seonghwa could tell he was really anxious.

So the next day when they were at KQ for practice, Seonghwa went looking for the staff member who was responsible for booking their flights. Seonghwa told her that he was afraid of flying and Hongjoong helped him stay calmer. He asked for her to keep it a secret.

After that, they were - almost - always together in flights, and each time Seonghwa would try doing something different so they could figure out what helped Hongjoong’s anxiety the most.

__

“I read something that I think might help,” Hongjoong said in a serious tone, as they walked towards their designated gate at the airport. The others were ahead of them.

“What is it?” Seonghwa asked with genuine curiosity. He was starting to run out of ideas and Hongjoong was never too sure about what worked best, it always seemed to change and sometimes nothing seemed to work.

“I read that holding hands with someone may help.”

Seonghwa stopped walking, to add some drama to his shock, and Hongjoong stopped one step ahead of him and turned to stare at Seonghwa, stomping his foot and snorting to pretend to be annoyed.

“You read that holding hands helps?” Seonghwa asked in disbelief, with a smile at the corner of his mouth.

Hongjoong kept his serious expression and crossed his arms. “Yeah, Seonghwa. It’s science.” He raised an eyebrow.

Seonghwa rolled his eyes and continued to walk. “I thought you despised physical contact with the members,” he said, mockingly.

Hongjoong tucked his hands into his pockets and shrugged, and Seonghwa realized he was probably embarrassed.

-

After boarding the place and sitting down, Hongjoong kept awfully quiet. He always got more nervous after they were inside the plane, ready to take flight. He’d start fidgeting and taking deep breaths. Seonghwa wondered how no one had realized that he was afraid of flying before, or if everyone realized but preferred to not say anything. Since Hongjoong was always trying to seem strong and centered, it would make sense that they’d let him live in a sort of illusion that his anxiety was never noticeable.

Seonghwa put his hand on the armrest between them with his palm turned up, an offer for Hongjoong to take. For a while, Hongjoong pretended it wasn’t there. He looked around, trying to make sure no one was looking at them. He checked the people sitting in the row in front of them, to make sure none of the members were there to catch them doing that. To Seonghwa, it didn’t matter at all if anyone saw that simple gesture of holding hands, and he wasn’t sure whether it mattered a lot to Hongjoong or if he was just stalling due to being embarrassed.

Finally, Hongjoong sat back, sinking into his seat, disappearing inside his hood. He took Seonghwa’s hand and immediately squeezed it, hard. Seonghwa squeezed his hand back, not as hard, he thought maybe it’d be comforting. Seonghwa leaned closer to him.

“It makes me feel better too,” Seonghwa said quietly, with a smile.

Hongjoong didn’t look at him, and didn’t reply. He just shrunk a little more into his hoodie and squeezed Seonghwa’s hand harder. Hongjoong never confirmed that holding hands was what helped him best, but from then on, Seonghwa always offered, and Hongjoong never refused.


End file.
